fulfillment.

I had a plan. It certainly didn’t include being single in my late forties. If I knew this future 10 years ago, I would have thrown a temper tantrum at the angels. 

I am single. I’m 49. And I am happier today, yesterday, and the day before. I cannot remember feeling this free as a girl, as a woman, in every part of my life. 

These days, being single does not feel like being alone. It used to, though. And I’d hunt down a soul just to patch the hole.

I feel finally complete as I continue to untame myself, to drop my guard, my masks, my potions.

I am giddy and wild again like a curious child playing with the toys in her chest.

I whisper sweet thanks to experience. And Spirit responds to this exchange.

The boys who once broke my heart, came to apologize when they became men. The threads that tied me to many hearts over many cities and hopes are slipping out of my hands. I bless each one as they float like balloons on a slow breeze.

This story of my completeness I wish to share with my sisters who cry out to be loved by another as a sign of life, and worth.

I wish to tell them:

First set your Self free. Let her thrive in realness.

I would tell her to listen to the opening note of the song you always wanted to sing. This tune will enliven you. Sing it.

 

I would tell her Wave Your Magic over miles of dreams and fears, and follow every hunch that brushes your cheek.

I would tell her love is an unwrapped present you carry with you all the time. It’s been with you during all those misshapen relationships and solo Friday night dinners. 

Once you realize this, open it. Open your gift. It’s wild and untamed inside, made pure and rare, so don’t change it.

When you do–open it–you will have opened the love of your life.

You will have opened your full Self, and she’s exactly who you’ve been looking for all this time.

Version 6

for real.

Clawing for your dream to become real can be a bit exhausting, if it goes on long enough.

But God knows, you definitely have to go after what you want in full force if you’re seriously determined to make it real.

 

In order for most of us to claim our deepest desires:

to lose fat once and for all,

to cruise to a six-figure income,

to hold the keys to your beach house, 

to finally caress the hand of your everlasting mate,

we need to start acting more like a kid instead of a pissed-off, overwhelmed, confused,

and irritated grown-up.

 

Once you decide you are READY to acquire that dream,

the activity that must consume your “efforts” is playing

MAKE BELIEVE.

 

Use every pocket of me-time: when you’re in the shower, on the toilet,

driving,

or right before bed

to daydream VIVIDLY!

 

What’s new in your wardrobe when you’re 10 pounds lighter?

How does it feel to look at your bank statements after you’ve easily paid your credit card bill and sent extra money to your investment accounts?

Describe the kitchen and bathroom in your beach house.

What does your everlasting love say to you on Sunday morning?

 

Daydream the questions.

The answers become your vision.

 

Then PRETEND.

Feel that darn dream as if it’s real right now. And feel it again tonight. And feel it again in the car. And again when you take the dog for a walk. And again tomorrow.

Act like it’s real.

 

Eat the foods someone 10 pounds lighter would eat.

Send money to your nieces every month.    

Go to HomeDepot and select the cabinets and tiles you’re gonna use for the kitchen remodel in your beach house.

Wake up feeling that you’re seen and loved.

 

Actively MAKE BELIEVE your dream is real RIGHT NOW.

And like a crazy adult or a creative child, boldly PRETEND you are living your dream every single day without cease.

Pretty soon, really,

pretty soon,

you will live it

for real.

for real

www.michellebernardspeaks.com

 

I’m addicted.

I’m a junkie. I study like a freak. I devour programs on self-growth, energy healing, spiritual principles, bodywise information.

I don’t need to go back to school again–ever. There’re teachers offering brilliant stuff online that really digs deep intellectually. Lisa Nichols. Anne Lamott. Danielle LaPorte. Tony Robbins. Brendon Burchard (Imma take a breath…)

I am addicted.

And here’s the problem: when I find myself stuck in somebody’s

virtual classroom more than I’m out in the world actually using my education,

then being a life-long “studier” becomes a blanket to hide under. 

Sometimes life-long students need to close the books and get wise by doing.

Me. Now.

 

anne lamott quote
anne lamott

Can you be happy while in pain?

Can you be happy and at the same time feel like you’re going through something awful, that’s ripping at your muscle of faith, and squeezing your hope into a dark hole?

Yes.

I am.

Cuz there’s a part of me that has a reserve of faith, I never run out.

My imagination keeps pulling me away from what I see in reality and deep into what I feel is possible.

Call to yourself what you feel is possible, no matter how things look to everybody else.

 

Michelle Bernard’s – My prayer – a moving meditation. from Michelle Bernard on Vimeo.