Girl, you have fallen’ into some big ole holes, and I know how much it has hurt you.
I know you can barely breathe down there in your pursuit of “all there is”- down there gasping to create a relationship that validates you, unraveling in a job-change you thought would define you (but is attacking your beliefs about humanity), in the arduous pursuit of sustainable health insurance.
But you will get another opportunity to choose soon. Really.
In about 5 months you won’t need to keep cranberry juice in the fridge for your vodka and you won’t need to workout twice a day to keep your butt from blowing up because of the chocolate chip cookie dough.
Your angry prayers and creative visualization notebooks will move you to a safer ground.
Don’t stop doing that work!
One thing I learned from you is to state my desired outcome like I know for certain it will happen.
Especially when I have no idea how IT will happen, still say IT must.
With no alternative.
That worked for you.
Thanks for giving me that.
Here’s what I wish to give to you, my 10 year younger mE.
Stamp these in your belly.
1. Stand with your intuition. When you feel you know, you are correct. You do.
2. Don’t tell everyone all your detailed feelings.
Explain only when you have established trust. Folks you can trust will hold your feelings sacred instead of using your life as something casual to talk about.
3. Journal often. Try audio when you’re scared to write.
4. Finish writing ThemKids. It’s really good.
5. Stop fixing people. Oh God girl, I know it’s your nature, but please stop pushing the fix in your private life.
It will exhaust you and deplete the enthusiasm you need for your beliefs.
Simply, offer advice if you’re asked, but don’t beg anyone to take it.
6. Respect every woman you see. They are precious. You have so much in common. You do.
7. Protect your spiritual center. Let it expand. It will make you magical.
Life isn’t short for everyone. For some, it’s long.
Life is precious.
What always amazes me is that we get so many chances to be who we want to be.
Regret isn’t necessary.
You are not going to make a bad decision.
So every time you decide something, be as bold as brass. It all fits somewhere.